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RFAngel69: hi david
Electro Darkwave: hi
RFAngel69: it's kristy
Electro Darkwave: kristy by lincoln ave?
RFAngel69: yeah
RFAngel69: well i use to lve there
RFAngel69: now i live with my boyfriend in alameda
Electro Darkwave: ic
RFAngel69: how have u been
Electro Darkwave: fine
RFAngel69: the last time i saw u was ur birth day when when we played football right
Electro Darkwave: that's true
RFAngel69: what have u been going since then
RFAngel69: ??
Electro Darkwave: well i'm kinda comfused as to why you're messaging me now all of a sudden
RFAngel69: i don't know i guess i haven't talk to u in a long time and i wanted to say hi thats all
Electro Darkwave: ic
RFAngel69: yeah that's it
Electro Darkwave: so u decide to not talk to me anymore then all of a sudden one day probably like a year later or something you message me to say 'hi'
Electro Darkwave: am i right?
RFAngel69: no i've been busy trying to grad, from high school since i'm 2 years behind in shool
RFAngel69: sorry
Electro Darkwave: ic
Electro Darkwave: you've been sooooo busy trying to graduate from high school for 2 years you couldn't say 'hi'
RFAngel69: i don't even remember the last time i sign on it's been so long
Electro Darkwave: so you could only say 'hi' to me online
Electro Darkwave: and last time it was that you thought i hated you, right?
RFAngel69: yeah i forgot who but someone told me that
Electro Darkwave: yeah right
Electro Darkwave: that sounds like a valid story
RFAngel69: u don't have to belive me
Electro Darkwave: someone who's so believable even though they're not that stand outish that you can't remember their name for some reason told you i hated you and you believed them
Electro Darkwave: they were so believable you didn't bother to ask 'why' or confront me or kim about it
Electro Darkwave: they're that important that their word must be heeded to the fullest extent, no questions
RFAngel69: it was hella long i'm sorry i don't have perfent memery
Electro Darkwave: oh ok that puts the puzzle together then
RFAngel69 signed off at 4:14:03 PM.
with friends like that i could call any random person i've bet years ago my 'friend'.
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i was looking at other's beliefs, and here is some that i have concluded:
blind faith is what causes evil. if you believe in something or do something but you don't know why, you're working for the devil. god would not want you to have faith in something without knowing that it's god. but can you ever be sure? if 'god himself' talked to you, could it be the devil? therefore, if god exists he would not want you to worship him. he would not want you to worship anyone. god would only accept the agnostics. the devil likes the believers.
if god created living things to live and humans to protect the planet, why do people work more on worshipping god and advancing themselves rather than helping out god's planet? which do you think god would rather you do, spend your sunday/saturday/anyday thanking him for your life and his creations or protecting what he has created and making his world a better place? do you really think god wants you to spend your life praying to him? say your thank yous and start making his world he created a better place! that is a true prayer. helping out god's creatures and purifying god's planet is the true way of showing your appreciation of life for him.
but that's just what i see. i can think of, make up and search for a billion answers to the universe and the human concept of god is 1.
the movie 'the matrix' truly puts into perspective of what's around you that you may not know about. what about the creator of the matrix? you could say he's a god. maybe he has a god who created him and his world or 'matrix', and his god's god has his god too. too many explanations, don't let what you see around you and what you're used to tell you what to believe.
do we have a purpose? probably. but i ask, what's my purpose? i'm pretty sure i have one.
-i was a test tube baby, first successful one in the bay area.
-i had open heart surgery when i was 13 months old.
-once when i was little i fell a story onto rocks flat on my back, got up unmarked and perfectly fine.
-in high school wrestling i got dropped straight on my head. my neck made a big CRACK! and i screamed. everyone was shocked. i got up like nothing happened, felt fine.
-those crash tests they do at 30 mph to see if someone will survive, i did that going 60. i came out with a minor concussion and i can't remember the accident.
there are more times i was supposed to die but i can't remember them. there were times when i wanted to kill myself but a voice said 'wait... wait... wait...' just long enough for things to get better.
am i kept alive for a reason? i know i'm going to make the best of my life.
i will eventually have the perfect mind and body to explore the universe and it's secrets. i will build an army to strengthen my quest. where will i go? i don't know yet. but right now i have time, and i will start making the best of it.
i will start with the secrets of this world. i have to master that before i can move on to the next.
but i would have to say the best thing that's happened to me is my special person ashly. without her i wouldn't have much motivation to move on. she gives me the strength i need to do something with my life. without her i would be doing all this lifelessly. she breathes life into me every day. she's my shield but i protect her. i won't let the nightmares get to her. instead one day i will share the dreams of worlds i see and make them come true for us.
so, do you think i'm a liar? do you think i'm crazy? i don't care what you think and if you ever try to stop me you will be crushed. nothing and noone will stand in my way and i feel sorry for anyone that thinks i fear them. i fear nothing and noone, not even death.
or maybe i'm just trippin tonight, i need to get some more sleep. goodnight.
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how can someone you care about so much hurt you so bad? maybe i'm just alone in this world and i have noone.
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Thursday, February 17th, 2005
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here are some stupid fads that are ugly and crappy that people need to get over:
-dickies
-dr martens
-converse
-nu-metal
-tripp
-nightmare before christmas
-plenty more i can't think of
none of those are or ever were cool.
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Wednesday, January 5th, 2005
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| Time: | 10:43 pm. |
| Mood: |  stressed. |
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these are the kinds of pictures she sends to her friends, sends to make friends, sends to people when she has a boyfriend. what kind of person posts pictures of themself like this all over the internet? this is what we call a 'slut'. she is one of thowe losers who can only make friends online and does whatever to do so, even if she has to scream 'fuck me' to the camera then editing every single picture she takes (making them worse with her lack of picture editing tallent). tips for her: don't learn how to do your make-up from clowns and i wouldn't concider the pictures you edit 'art'.
this is gabi unedited (note you won't see the mole birmuta triangle in any of her pictures).
this is what gabi calls 'art'.
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Wednesday, November 3rd, 2004
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see, this is why i am tempted to just say i have no more friends. this is why i never go out with people or go online or update my journal. people are such bullshit and they follow what everone else says. this is why i spend my time with ashly and ashly only. she would rather kerry but i respect her for her reasons.
i really don't see why people get so fussed up about the election, you can disagree with someone about business or what is a good brand of shirts but when it comes to the presidential election people look to draw blood.
fucking bleeding heart liberal bay area! my parents can't even put a bush cheney sign in their yard for fear of their safety.
i've heard it all about the candidates but i also didn't vote because i don't feel i'm well enough informed. though most people that seem to be informed well enough vote for bush or noone at all. when you go get informed and possibly get some inside information THEN i will respect your opinion. i sure hope these whiny hippies do leave the country and go to canada when bush wins. better for the rest of us.
this is why i am happy to say that with permission from a higher power (if one exists they obviously let me do this) i am the law.
I am the law.
I run the streets.
I am my own judge.
I run the world.
I control the weather.
I am my own military.
I can do whatever i want.
the power of one, it's amazing what you can do these days.
i know when you are sleeping.
i know when you're awake.
i know when you've been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake.
i like good feedback, agreeing or contradicting me. but if you post some annoying ass whiney political shit i'll fucking remove it and bitch at you.
but you have to admit there are better kerry slogans than bush ones.
eat BUSH
suck DICK 04
(just don't vote for them).
don't vote the bush, smoke the bush.
there are many more i forgot.
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Tuesday, November 2nd, 2004
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this election crap is bullshit. who in their right mind would ever vote for kerry?
-kerry is a concieted lying flip-flopping idiot who should never be put in power. they say vote for kerry to go against bush, but i would think it to be the other way around.
-in vietnam kerry lied to get his purple hearts. THERE IS PROOF THAT HE LIED AND GOT OTHERS IN TROUBLE FOR HIS OWN BENIFIT. HE ALSO DID FUCKED UP THINGS THAT OTHER TROOPS IN VIETNAM DID AND DOES NOT DESERVE TO BE IN GOVERNMENT. no vietnam veterans like him.
-before he planned on running for president he said saddam should be taken out of power by america whether or not he has weapons of mass destruction. when he ran for president he changed his mind. then he changed it again. then again. then again.
-his first debate against bush that he supposedly won he made 17 lies.
-he says he would take a strong stand against terrorism and search for terrorists to convict them. but he would only do that with france and i think germany's permission, who would deffinitely say 'no'.
i hear good and bad things about bush. thanks to people like john kerry and michael moore there are untrue rumors that too many americans believe. i don't know if he's a good or bad president and i don't know enough to make a judgement. what i do know though is that with him in power this country would be well protected against terrorism.
michael moore is an idiotic asshole who lies to turn people away from bush. noone should listen to a word he says or watch his movies.
saddam murdered, tortured and raped people on a daily basis. you really think america or anyone should let him be in power whether or not it's in america's jurisdiction to judge that? and why are toops still in iraq? because with no government there is lots of crime and someone needs to police there until a government is established. it's not that easy to establish a government with a country of chaos like that, you know.
i have heard inside government information from 2 sources. one told me where the weapons of mass destruction are (yes, they do exist and the world would flip dare bush go after them in another country). the other said that all presidents and most government are for themselves, not the people. this would make sence, a party would want themselves to be in power and would pick a candidate that would worry about them and himself, not the people.
i didn't vote though. fuck that. I am the government. i have enough money for what i need and if i want more i get more. i am my own law enforcement. i do as i please. i think i should have voted though.
so i hope you people if you voted did not vote for kerry. at least vote for a third party candidate so that they can be heard.
today was my and ashly's 9 month anniversary! i had so much fun spending all day with her. she is so perfect!
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Sunday, October 3rd, 2004
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ashly and i met at gilman at a babyland show. last night was our 8 month anniversary, so we went to a babyland show for it. it was an amazing special anniversary.
she is everything to me. she's so perfect and i've never met anyone like her. she's so beautiful in so many ways and i wouldn't be me without her.
my life now is her. also martial arts and work, but mainly her. i'd pick her over anything else. i'm tired and i don't know what else to say so yeah, ashly's hot and has a perfect body.
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the weirdest thing happened. saturday night around 10 pm i woke up in the hospital. i asked, 'what am i doing in the hospital?' my mom said 'you were in a car accident'. i said 'cool! i wake up in the hospital not knowing anything, this is like the twilight zone' and i started singing the twilight zone song.
you know those crash tests they do with dummies in cars going 20-30 mph to see if a human will survive? i hit a cement wall the same way going 60. i'm not supposed to be alive. they don't understand how i got out of it. i only got a mild concussion.
i couldn't stop laughing in the hospital. i was like 'i'm supposed to be dead and i can't remember anything, this is funny'. it really felt like the twilight zone or something.
i was coming home from dropping ashly off. there is only one airbag in the car and ashly is fragile, if she was in the car she would have definitely died. it's so scary, she was just with me.
i still don't know what happened. i don't just go crashing into walls. i can't remember anything at the time and everything that happened that day and a little before is like a faint dream and i can remember better when people remind me. i talked to the highway patrol officer that was at the scene. the whitness said i just swerved and hit the wall. it seems weird. i wouldn't reach down for something while driving, especially not on a freeway.
one possibility is it's a medical problem. maybe i had a seizure. maybe i blanked out for a few seconds. who knows. but, i am alive and well.
i'm going to see the car today. i'm going to take pictures and maybe i'll post them. i wanna see it all smashed up. it's totalled. i can't wait to see!!!
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You're addicted to.....
Nothing!
Your addicted to nothing at all? Well..... ok I
guess thats a good thing but come on just think
of the possibilities!
What are you addicted to? (pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla
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| Time: | 11:01 pm. |
| Mood: |  sad. |
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i'm feeling lonely and sad right now. ashly please call! i don't like to argue...
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oh my god i am going to die! my dad is having prostate surgery today and my mom took him to the hospital this morning. you know what this means? i have to drive my brother to school! he has an A period meaning he goes even earlier than most. my parents wake me up at 6:40. 6 fucking 40 in the morning! i tried to use the coffee machine and i made a bad coffee but there was no other way i could have gotten up. fuck it's ealry i will die! i took my contacts out last night and i didn't have time this morning to put new ones in, so i drove without contact lenses. i was okay though, i could still see pretty well.
after i dropped my brother off i saw my old friend sam walking down the hill, so i gave her a ride down. she was going to get picked up by her parents. i was like 'man, i would kill myself if i had to do this every day!' and she said 'yeah, that would suck'. i paused for a second, then said 'don't you have to do this every day?' and she said 'yeah and it sucks'.
fuck i'm going back to bed. goodnight.
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| Time: | 1:59 pm. |
| Mood: | depressed. | | Music: | smashing pumpkins - disarm. |
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i keep crying. ashly has been acting weird lately, but i'm not quite sure what it is. my parents bitch at me every chance i get. i keep seeing myself dying and for some reason it doesn't seem so bad. what do i have in this world? i found answers and i'm not happy with what i found. i keep playing tetris and when i'm not i play the game in my head and i can't stop and it hurts. i don't know what to do anymore. i haven't seen ashly for a week and i'm getting unbearably lonely. i miss her too much and i can't live like this. she keeps looking for reasons why i wouldn't like her and it's starting to get on my nerves.
now i'm waiting for my parents to come home and bitch at me because the screws in my car won't come out.
i want a hug.
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Thursday, April 22nd, 2004
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| Time: | 12:22 am. |
| Mood: |  tired. | | Music: | kamelot. |
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apparently it was actually his older brother who was talking shit. dumb bitch hiding behind someone else's name talking shit about business that's not even theirs.
it's after midnight and larry just called and hung up. i called back and he said he accidentally called me. i figured something was suspicious, he never calls. we talked for a minute then left.
ashly and i have a very strange, different, weird yet amazingly wonderful relationship. i don't like arguing over stupid little stuff but other than that things are perfect. i love her so much!
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Wednesday, April 21st, 2004
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| Time: | 4:17 pm. |
| Mood: |  confused. |
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(said to me while i was away)
ChodieMcChodeson: hey you faggot
ChodieMcChodeson: fuckin' gat ass bitch
ChodieMcChodeson: gay
ChodieMcChodeson: you chode
ChodieMcChodeson: you said you were gonna kick my ass?
ChodieMcChodeson: i'll fuckin' rape yo ass nigga
ChodieMcChodeson: i'll bend you over n' insert
ChodieMcChodeson: you lil ass bitch
ChodieMcChodeson: trying to stick it up for brittany
ChodieMcChodeson: fuck that bitch
ChodieMcChodeson: i'll rape yo8u
ChodieMcChodeson: you
ChodieMcChodeson: bitch
he's some 14 year old kid who used to go out with brittany (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) propertyofalex) who posted a threat in my previous entry. he's barely in high school, talking shit to a high school grad with stuff about weapons and martial arts in my info and i believe i have an entry not long ago about looking for someone to jump. yet this stoner drunk loser kid who doesn't even know how to treat a girl says shit to me out of nowhere like he has a deathwish or something. damn, that's jail time right there. it's all good, i know younger people. i can send my little gremlins after him.
now dumbass, talk some more shit.
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